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Writer's picturecjceleiro

Dear White Friends,



If you're an American that likes mac and cheese and creme brûlée, thank James Hemings for bringing them over from France.


If you can't live without peanut butter and sweet potatoes, thank George Washington Carver for revolutionizing crop rotation.


If you so much as think about eating anything deemed "southern food," thank Abby Fisher for publishing her cookbook in 1881.


If you're sick of cooking dinner every night because of coronavirus, order from a black owned restaurant. If your city is on curfew, schedule ahead. Or get lunch. Or breakfast. If you're still scared of getting coronavirus from ordering food, buy merchandise or a gift card.


If you need to do some retail therapy, buy from a black owned business. Looking for something homespun, wabi-sabi, or vintage? Try black owned Etsy shops.


If you feel like you need to do more, this document has information about pro bono legal council, donations, protests, social media, and talking about race with children. Even if you aren't in a position to donate or protest, this document has suggestions of what you can do. If you aren't afraid to get outside but nervous to actively participate in the demonstrations, be someone's ride or safe place. Be someone's way of getting water or snacks or first-aid. Make this known so people can find you.


If you think children are too young to talk about race, you are incredibly wrong. I taught second grade. Race came up a lot in my delightfully diverse classroom. We talked about it. We learned from what others said. We teach them about figures like Ruby Bridges, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Rosa Parks... Not sure where to start? Try here.


If you have a platform with an audience, use it. Speak out. Don't be silent. You've got people already willing to hear what you have to say, so say something.


If you start any post with "I don't like to get political, but..." hit the backspace button and rework. This is not a political issue. This is a human rights issue. Don't be afraid to talk about a human rights issue ever. That's just good practice.


If you truly believe #blacklivesmatter but for whatever reason feel conflicted because you or someone you know was/is on the force, there are still ways to show support. No one suggested the police be attacked or that their lives don't matter either, and there are plenty protesters, black protesters, who are also trying to protect officers from rioters . But all lives don't matter until black lives matter. I understand some people facing discomfort with the prospect of defunding the police, but if that's not your jam then find a different way to still be part of the solution. Perhaps you can support a movement similar to how Camden reformed their police department in 2012. Don't remain silent. If anything, now would be the time to demonstrate your true feelings on the issue for the sake of those who need support.


If you are uncertain how to navigate all of this, start with research. You are a human, you can do your homework. The resources are abundant. Here's a reading list. Still have questions? Have a conversation with your black friends. Listen to them. Learn from them. Ask them questions. Recognize your privilege. But do not expect them to just up educate you on everything, especially if you haven't done your homework first. It is not their job to be your teachers. They will be happy to listen and correct you, or catch you if you say something awry, but when they do this your job is not to go on the defense. If you are afraid of being a white savior, take a step back and consider why you think that. Your black friends will likely be able to help you navigate this in a way that is appropriate without discrediting your want to help. But don't expect your black friends to give you a cheat sheet. You've got to put in the work.


If you are worried about your black friends, check on them. They likely have a lot more feelings about this than you. Let them share their thoughts. Listen to them. Make sure they're doing okay. Offer comfort. Don't discredit them. Don't play devil's advocate. Do not refute their feelings. They're their feelings, not yours.


Listen to black hosted/created podcasts. Support black art, films, television, journalists, writers, poets, playwrights, comedians, directors, producers, musicians, actors, dancers, singers, business owners, chefs, radio personalities, social media personalities, entrepreneurs, CEOs, teachers...


If you are a teacher, check on your students. Let them know you are available to talk. Let them know that you hear and see them. Let them know you love and support them. And if you don't, find a new profession.


If you think this problem will go away with thoughts and prayers, it won't.


If you think protests and riots are ineffective, pick up a history book.


If you don't know what a microaggression is, look it up.


If you think "I only see one race: the human race" or "I don't see color" are appropriate ways of showing support, you're wrong. You're erasing the issue. You cannot deny that there is an issue, and turning a blind eye only allows the issue to be perpetuated more. It's also painfully rubbing your privilege in the face of others. Instead, let your black friends know that you see them, hear them, and are here for them.


If you are haunted by comments or actions you have made in the past (and we all have them), acknowledge them. Learn from them. Grow from them. Don't repeat them. Become a better person.


If you have children, raise them to be a part of the solution, not the problem.


If you think that racism is going to end, unfortunately it probably never will. It's embedded in our culture as humans, as Americans. Acknowledge it. Speak out against it. Do better. And don't ever stop.


Dear black friends,


I see you. I hear you. I am with you. I am not in the fray for the sake of my family, but I am with you in other ways. I have donated. I set up a birthday donation fund. I created a list of black-owned restaurants that was later matched by a more extensive list. I am doing my homework and reading. I am listening to what everyone is saying. I am acknowledging my privilege and working to be a better person. I'm using this blog - my platform - however small it may be. I am hoping my other white friends do the same.


With salt and solidarity,


~c.j.


From Viola Davis, who got it form Octavia Spencer, who got it from Cali Rockowitz

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